Kokugikan then and now

[Mark.Buckton 68]

rather large announcement to be made next Spring re. the Kokugikan as we know it.

Thus looking for anyone with memory of the Kuramae Kokugikan to ask a few questions and use in an article. Anyone out there?

[Washuyama 641]

I was there three times, but I was only 9 years old. Don't remember much except hanging out in the doorway of the shitaku-beya. Got knocked on my butt by Wakajishi once.

[Masumasumasu 902]

What announcement?

[Mark.Buckton 68]

forum ain't the place mate. Agreed timing with article schedule.

[Benevolance 2,511]

The Urotura's influence has hastened the addition of ropes around the dohyo, a more square ring design, and the four tassels will be replaced with coloured turnbuckles holding the ropes. And to cap the changes, Akebono is returning to Yokozunahood to defend his title against Hakuho in a no-holds barred, bone-jarring, spirit crushing battle royale! We'll sell you the whole zabuton, but you'll only need the edge!

[Kuroyama 715]

I'm thinking monster truck rally.

[ronnie 221]

The yobidashi will no longer call out the names of the rikishi for the next bout. They will be replaced by nubile young women clad only in mini mawashi and high heels carrying boards displaying the shikonas as they strut their way round the tawara.

The full house banners will be made redundant, tv ratings will go through the roof and those committees such as the YDC will be depopulated by apoplexy on shonichi.

This will be hailed as a masterstroke by the Kyokai!

[Asojima 2,874]

Jonidan thru Makushita will expand to 15 matches per basho. They will build a replica of Kuramae to stage the extra matches and handle the overflow crowds.

[Asashosakari 19,648]

The Urotura's influence has hastened the addition of ropes around the dohyo, a more square ring design, and the four tassels will be replaced with coloured turnbuckles holding the ropes. And to cap the changes, Akebono is returning to Yokozunahood to defend his title against Hakuho in a no-holds barred, bone-jarring, spirit crushing battle royale! We'll sell you the whole zabuton, but you'll only need the edge!

I hate to nitpick, but a battle royale really needs more than two participants.

Are the giant video screens finally coming?

[Kuroyama 715]

Powered body armor for top-ranked gyoji!

[Benevolance 2,511]

I hate to nitpick, but a battle royale really needs more than two participants.

Well, it was going to be a surprise, but okay. Since you asked.

So shortly after Akebono and Hakuho get into the fight, Zetton lowers from the rafters, blasting them with his 1 trillion degree Celsius fireballs. Urotura intervenes at the last second, deflecting the fireballs onto the YDC and destroying them instantly. But, in an homage to both Ultraman and Urotura, Zetton uses his colour beam to weaken Urotura's powers and toss him out of the ring in less than the 3 minutes his oyakata desired him to fight. Akebono and Hakuho decide to pause their battle, as all noble yokozuna do when 60 meter tall alien invaders appear, and prepare to do battle with the mighty Zetton. But then! The mysterious Naruto beya mysteriously appears mysteriously using their mysterious Justu powers of mystery! KA BAM! But, oh no! Zetton was in league with the super sayains all along! An epic clash errupts between Naruto and Dragon Ball Z to determine which is the second most popular manga of all time after One Piece. That's when Ikioi and the Oyakata All-Stars launch into a stirring rendition of O Fortuna and...I mentioned this was a musical, right? It's a 15-day musical homage to Japan in the spirit of Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen. Kintamayama is writing the score. It's very good. You should donate. Anyhoo, while O Fortuna rages on, the angry YDC ghosts rise up to hunt Haramafuji, who tricks the YDC spirits into entering a magical pot he painted, thereby harnessing the power of the GHOST PUNCH. Little H uses the GHOST PUNCH to deplete Zetton's energy barriers and ensure Hakuho and Akebono can defeat the monster before the Zettonian aliens invade earth. And at the end, Kisenosato finds One Piece and is crowned the Pirate King (though he is ultimately denied promotion to yokozuna after losses on day 2 and 6 to Goeuido and Shohozan, respectively).

[Kuroyama 715]

I hate to nitpick, but a battle royale really needs more than two participants.

Well, it was going to be a surprise, but okay. Since you asked.

So shortly after Akebono and Hakuho get into the fight, Zetton lowers from the rafters, blasting them with his 1 trillion degree Celsius fireballs. Urotura intervenes at the last second, deflecting the fireballs onto the YDC and destroying them instantly. But, in an homage to both Ultraman and Urotura, Zetton uses his colour beam to weaken Urotura's powers and toss him out of the ring in less than the 3 minutes his oyakata desired him to fight. Akebono and Hakuho decide to pause their battle, as all noble yokozuna do when 60 meter tall alien invaders appear, and prepare to do battle with the mighty Zetton. But then! The mysterious Naruto beya mysteriously appears mysteriously using their mysterious Justu powers of mystery! KA BAM! But, oh no! Zetton was in league with the super sayains all along! An epic clash errupts between Naruto and Dragon Ball Z to determine which is the second most popular manga of all time after One Piece. That's when Ikioi and the Oyakata All-Stars launch into a stirring rendition of O Fortuna and...I mentioned this was a musical, right? It's a 15-day musical homage to Japan in the spirit of Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen. Kintamayama is writing the score. It's very good. You should donate. Anyhoo, while O Fortuna rages on, the angry YDC ghosts rise up to hunt Haramafuji, who tricks the YDC spirits into entering a magical pot he painted, thereby harnessing the power of the GHOST PUNCH. Little H uses the GHOST PUNCH to deplete Zetton's energy barriers and ensure Hakuho and Akebono can defeat the monster before the Zettonian aliens invade earth. And at the end, Kisenosato finds One Piece and is crowned the Pirate King (though he is ultimately denied promotion to yokozuna after losses on day 2 and 6 to Goeuido and Shohozan, respectively).

They need to rewrite "Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny" to include all this.

[tarako 3]

What a tease, Mark ;)