Ridiculous Predictions Hatsu 2022

[Benevolance 2,511]

Ex-Harumafuji dons the pikachu mascot costume and re-enters sumo under the shikona Pikachu Libre. The sumo association tries to object, but after several failed legal challenges, they cannot stop him. Pikachu Libre soon rises to the rank of yokozuna, dominating the opposition with his lightning quick Pikachu-non-henka. The children of the world rejoice. 

Edited January 8, 2022 by Benevolance

[Benihana 1,937]

Nothing extraordinary happens.

[Sue 520]

Mitakeumi zenshos, and that stray comment about his ozeki run comes back to haunt the NSK.

[Asojima 2,874]

On senshuraku, Takakeisho defeats Terunofuji and forces a ketteisen.  Both rikishi are injured in the initial bout and neither can appear for the ketteisen.  In May, the first two man yusho picture is hung in the Kokugikan.

Edited January 9, 2022 by Asojima

[Rocks 1,809]

Chiyonokuni wins the Yusho and the next basho he still doesn't make Sanyaku. 

[Fujisan 533]

Okinoumi wins the yusho but when he is being presented  with the emperors cup he drops it on the Chairmans foot...

To prevent this happening again the Sumo association  makes strength tests compulsory for all rikishi over the age of 35

Edited January 11, 2022 by Fujisan

[Reonito 1,522]

On 08/01/2022 at 17:45, Rocks said:

Chiyonokuni wins the Yusho and the next basho he still doesn't make Sanyaku. 

Only the first part of this is ridiculous—a 12-3 yusho from M9 wouldn't be a guarantee.

[LLCoolKay 24]

Oho wins the yusho as the spirit of Taiho descends upon him and he becomes an unstoppable force of sumo.

[Yamanashi 3,904]

Ura makes a stunning comeback and finishes 11-4 with a sansho.  When interviewed afterwards, he claims he didn't really remember much about it, but since the first half of his tournament went so well, he's going to gambarize and get double digit wins!

[code_number3 708]

Enho will get his first double-digit win in his career.

[hakutorizakura 643]

Terunofuji finishes with 14-1, better than anyone else anyway. However, since this is Pokemon basho, Isegahama is declared the yusho winner. Terunofuji evolves into Tyrannofuji, turning yellow-green and growing four horns and a spiked tail, but before he eats the giant macaroon (yobidashi and all), Isegahama puts him back in his pokeball to sleep. His tokoyama now has extra duties of daily-scratching and dressing his horns.

[Fujisan 533]

Day 8 is held up after the rikishi arrive to find a fresh bed of flowers has grown on the dohyo.

[Sue 520]

On 08/01/2022 at 18:26, Sue said:

Mitakeumi zenshos, and that stray comment about his ozeki run comes back to haunt the NSK.

Okay, so a nakabi kachikoshi is making this look less ridiculous, but this is Mitakeumi we're talking about here.

[Yamanashi 3,904]

Takarafuji, like Terutsuyoshi and other heya-mates of Terunofuji, will try to derail Mitakeumi's bid for a yusho.  In their bout, instead of salt Takarafuji throws lumpia onto the dohyo, and at the tachiai Mitakeumi smells the Filipino food and bends down to pick it up, touching the dohyo and disqualifying himself.  However, Dewanoumi raises his hand, and during a mono-ii it is decided that the lumpia had ingredients not allowed on the dohyo; Takarafuji is disqualified, and the rest of the bouts are cancelled so the dohyo can be re-consecrated.

[hakutorizakura 643]

52 minutes ago, Sue said:

Okay, so a nakabi kachikoshi is making this look less ridiculous, but this is Mitakeumi we're talking about here.

Since we're at it... Let's add that Isegahama will be eating a hat during Mita's yusho interview 

[hakutorizakura 643]

BOOM! 

[WAKATAKE 2,671]

And here I thought an actual ridiculous prediction was going to come true

[code_number3 708]

On 17/01/2022 at 02:22, Yamanashi said:

instead of salt Takarafuji throws lumpia onto the dohyo,

No fish but 2 boxes of 1000 lumpias each on his yusho and/or ozeki press conference